Monday, 18 November 2013

39 Weeks - Fear and Anxiety

I went to bed on Sunday night with the feeling I might be coming down with a cold.  I therefore was not surprised on Monday morning when I woke at 5am with a sore throat and unable to breathe.  Not what I needed when I could go into labour anytime!

The combination of being heavily pregnant, being ill and looking after a toddler is gruelling.  I am ashamed to say Monday and Tuesday were spend mostly sat on the sofa watching DVDs.  I tried to make in slightly more interactive by sitting with our Thomas book while watching Thomas the Tank Engine, finding and pointing out the various characters as they appeared on the screen.

Feeling ill has not really helped my anxiety levels. I am worried about the next few weeks. I am worried that having come all this way something could still happen to blue bump and I won't get to take him home. If I do get to take him home, I am worried how I am going to cope with a newborn again, let alone a mum of 2!  I am also worried about going through labour with a supposedly large baby and about going overdue and not being allowed my water birth.

Part of me wants the next few weeks over and done with so i can stop worrying about them. Part of me wants to bury my head in the sand and hope they never arrive. 

Stupid? Maybe
Real? Very

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