The Couple...

A couple love each other very much.

The couple have a strong, mature relationship.

The couple decide to start a family.

The couple are blessed with a healthy family.

The couple love their family very much.

The couple find being parents stressful.

The couple are stressed at the children.

The couple are stressed at each other.

The couple are unhappy.

The couple decide they can no longer be happy together.

The couple decide to part.

The couple, recently so much in love, are no more.

 

Discuss...

Disclaimer: Please do not read this as a reflection of my current situation - DH and I are still very much together. It does however reflect a simplified understanding of how our relationship was impacted over the past 3 years and is part of my search for remedies.

From SAHM to WAHM

So I guess you are probably all wondering where I have been hiding for the past 4 months?
Since B turned 1 in December I have returned to work 25 hours a week.  I am very fortunate to be able to work from home and after a couple of months of searching I have found a lovely nanny who looks after C and B in our home.

I know I am privileged in both of these respects.  I am never far away from my children.  I can hear them when they are playing downstairs and see them when they are playing in the garden.  I often try to come downstairs at lunchtime so I can eat with them.

Thomas Land has Expanded!

Last Wednesday we were invited to Thomas Land to attended the opening of it's £2.5 million expansion, which has seen it increase in size by 40%. Thomas Land is situated within Drayton Manor Theme Park nr Tamworth, Staffordshire which is celebrating its 65th anniversary this year!  Being Kent-dwellers, this is not as local to us I we would like and organising the 3 hours plus car journey around rush hour took some planning.

This was to be our 3rd visit to Thomas Land.  C is still as mad about trains as she was for our first visit a year ago, and now B (no doubt spurred on by his sister) is really starting to take an interest too.  He loves playing with the Thomas Wooden Railway at home and is starting to pay more attention to the TV series. 

Happy Birthday Baby B!

Exactly one year ago today I gave birth to my second child, my beautiful, baby boy!
C was 21 months old which means I became a Mummy of the dreaded "2 under 2".
This past year has been hard, but not as hard as my first year with C.  Mainly I think because I have been in a better place mentally.  I felt able to tackle the (many) challenges head on rather than feeling totally overwhelmed by the situation.

Juggling my time between 2 children has been the hardest part.  There is no doubt in my mind that despite my best efforts, C has lost out this year.  Deep down I feel incredibly guilty that I haven't been able to give her the time she needed every day; guilty that I have been short tempered and tired when she has wanted to play.  I hope however, I have given her something equally important in the long term... a brother, a play mate, a best friend.
They are just beginning to start to play together and I hope this is the start of a wonderful journey for both of them.  Yes there will be arguments, plenty of them, but I hope the good times outweigh the bad as they step out into the world together.

 

I had B weighed last week... 25lbs 10oz!  At birth he weighed 9lbs 10oz and has consistantly tracked above the 91st percentile since then.  Like C he was exclusively breastfed for the first 6 months and although now fully weaned, he is still breastfed before bed.  I am proud that I have managed to successfully breastfeed both of my children for their first year. 

B is now happily toddling around the house... and everywhere else I dare to let him go!  Keen to get on the move from the start, he crawled at just turned 7 months, was cruising before he was 8 months, and was walking at 10 months.  It really does not seem he was a little baby for very long at all!

He is more mischievious than C was... the upshot of being a boy I suspect, and having an older sister to learn the mishief from.  Most of the time he is a sunny and smily, if a tad on the clingy side.

This milestone post also marks a turning point for me.
I am going to wind down my blog.
I initially started writing to help me through a stressful pregnancy and the difficult early days with C.
Going from infertility to pregnancy with PCOS, to premature birth, to a high need baby with various medical problems really took its toll.
Writing about my difficulties proved a form of therapy in light of feeling I could not talk to people in real life.
I also wrote to provide reassurance and support to others battling similar situations.
Things are much better now and I don't feel I need that therapy anymore.
I have never been particularly fond of writing and have no interest in writing without a purpose, in fact I find finding the time to write stressful, which is completely at odds with its original objective.   .
On top of all of this I have always strived to keep myself annoymous.  This is because I have not felt comfortable discussing any my difficulties with anyone in real life.  I find many quick to judge and even quicker to gossip.  It is only a matter of time before I am found out, particularly as Instagram keeps insisting on linking to my personal Facebook profile at random intervals, despite me setting it not too!
It is time to stop.

To reach this point I feel liberated!  Like I have emerged from a 3 year fog.  A combination of C growing up, B being an easier baby and me finally losing the baby weight means I feel I have almost found myself again.
I no longer go to bed dreading tomorrow.
I take pride in my appearance again and I am enjoying spending time with my children.
It is only when you come out the other side you realise what a dark place you were in!

You will still find me on Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest A LOT!
There will just be no long-winded prose from me from now on.

Thank you all for reading and contributing over the past 3 years.  You've kept me sane!

Toddlebike Trials 2014 - 6 Weeks On

For the past month C has been taking part in the 2014 Toddlebike Trials.  Our trial period is nearly over therefore I took C out this week so I could document her progress.  We hadn't been out for over a week so I was not sure how competent she would be.

Silly Mummy for doubting my daughter!
C was a pro!
Gliding along, up and down hills that I thought she would protest at.  In fact she insisted she rode her bike for the best part of a mile, despite me reiterating we could stop for a rest whenever she needed.  It was brilliant to see her really enjoying herself and full of smiles!

Deciding When to Stop Breastfeeding

I stopped breastfeeding C at 13 months old.

It was always my intention to breastfeed until 12 months if possible and then her impending hernia surgery prompted me to continue a little longer.
Being is hospital with a baby is so much more flexible if you are breastfeeding.  The "null by mouth" time is reduced, as breast milk is softer on the stomach, meaning you are dealing will a hungry baby for less time.  Also the hospital are obliged to feed breastfeeding mothers, which meant no having to dash to the canteen for food.
Finally C turned 13 months in the spring.  The bug season was coming to an end and I felt brave enough to let her immune system take over on its own.

Dinosaur Rhyme Time - A Review

Our second book from Faber and Faber has arrived for review!

Our first, Hog in the Fog, is still a firm favourite in our house and I can recite most of it by memory... helpful when you are stuck in a traffic jam on a long car journey!

This next book is aimed at slightly younger readers, which is perfect now B is getting of an age to enjoy books too.

Dinosaur Rhyme Time is a collection of your favourite nursery rhymes and well known songs, illustrated with lovely soft illustrations of cute and cuddly dinosaurs in character.  Many of my friends have toddlers who are mad about dinosaurs therefore this is sure to be a hit with many families.

Toddlebike Trials 2014 - Getting Started

This week we have finally been able to get out and test drive our Toddlebike.  We were luckily enough to be selected for the Toddlebike Trials 2014 and C's bike arrived 3 weeks ago.

The first week the weather was awful therefore our test driving was restricted to up and down the hallway at home.
The following week C was ill. In fact I've never see her poorly for so long. It was horrible! 
This week has been half term and the weather has been lovely so we couldn't wait to get out of the house and get started!

We went to Leeds Castle on Saturday as a family and gave C her first proper extended go.  I knew it would be an interesting experience. At 31 months, C is at the older end of the spectrum for a toddlebike however she lacks confidence in situations like this therefore her age advantage did not guarantee success.

Up and Away! - Walking at 10 Months

B was a big baby at 9lb 10oz.
He was also 10 days overdue.
Every since his birth I feel he has been in a rush to grow up.
To catch up on those 10 missed days... and a few more!
He was in 0-3 months clothes from the start.
By 6 months he was in 12-18 months clothes.
I wondered if his size would hinder his movement but instead it has brought him superior strength.
At just turned 7 months he started to crawl, and before he was 8 months he was walking round the furniture!
My baby was not a little baby for long.

National Baking Week

This week is National Baking Week and today sees the launch of my good friend Baked Potato Mummy's new #LittleChefs linky.

As her blog name suggests, Lucy loves to bake and this new linky is all about having fun in the kitchen with your little ones.

With two under 3, I have little time for baking and my continuing drive to lose the baby weight has made me shy away from making anything remotely unhealthy that I might be tempted to eat.
With hubby away who do you think is going to eat 10 out of the dozen cupcakes or biscuits we bake? You guessed it... Moi!

Lucy then pointed out that I didn't need to actually "bake" anything.  Just getting out one or two digestive biscuits and having fun icing them was a great activity in itself.
Stupidly, this option had never even crossed my mind!  And of course she was right.

Autumn Train Play

This past fortnight, in my attempts to improve the quality of our homelife, I have been focusing on creating activities for C that I know she will enjoy.

I spend many hours researching small world and imaginative play ideas on Pinterest only for C to play with them for 5 minutes before getting bored. Disheartening to say the least!

I therefore decided to tap into a theme I know she loves... trains!

I came across this wonderful blog and have taken a lot of this weeks inspiration from it.

For the first activity I sneaked out of the house with C & B were having breakfast and collected a large pile of leaves and twigs from under our Oak tree in the garden.
After breakfast I created a small wooden train layout on the dining room table... away from the households littlest fingers.... and spread out the leaves between the tracks.
I broke up the twigs into lengths of 3-4cm so they could be used a logs.
I then dug out our 3 "flatbed" trucks for the logs to be loaded on.
 

Finally the Swing is Up!

In the Summer we bought an Action play house and slide for the garden.  We also bought a swing frame.
The playhouse and slide were erected immediately and we have had great fun with it over the past few months.
Due to one thing and another, the swing has sat in its boxes since then.
Finally, last weekend we got around putting it together.
Typically, just in time for the end of the good weather!

The swing frame is a Galahad swing from Action.
It consists of 2 dual rope swings and a metal frame duo swing seat.

OctoAlert at The National Sealife Centre

On Saturday we got up bright and early to travel up to Birmingham.

We had been invited up to the National Sealife Centre to embark on their latest Octonauts mission which runs until the end of November.  It was particularly exciting because this was our first visit to the Centre and my first visit to a Sealife Centre since I was 12 years old!

Silent Sunday 20141005

Everything is Awesome: A Review of The Lego Movie

There were 2 films released in the cinemas around the time B was born which I missed out on seeing.
One was the second Hobbit instalment, the other was The Lego Movie.

When price tracking website Suppose.com contacted me to ask if I would be interested in reviewing the latter, I jumped at the chance!
The feedback from friends at the time was really good, therefore I went into this with high expectations of the movie.

My Promises to My Children

In a busy household with multiple children, it is easy to lose sight of the little things that really matter.
In between the endless, cooking, washing, cleaning and ferrying I confess I am guilty of taking advantage of the quieter moments, when I only have one child to look after, by sitting down with my laptop and a cup of coffee to recover.

A few minutes of Mummy "time out" are important but so is one to one time with each of my children.
I have therefore written a promise below of 3 small things I will endeavour to do with each of them every day.

Taking Control - My Weight Loss Journey

Since the end of April I have lost 3 stone (over 40lbs).
I feel soooo much better for it.
Obviously I feel healthier but I am also a lot happier.
I feel I have claimed a bit of me back again.
I feel I have taken control of my life.

With me and food it really is about who is controlling who.
Since C was born I lost that control and was just treading water to survive.
Every day revolved around her and I had no time for myself.
I ate whatever I could, whenever I could.

Terrified of walking the same path again

I have been very relaxed about B.
He is my second child. 
He was not born prematurely.
I am more confident and have had no concerns about him at all.
But today something knocked me sideways.
A friend with a baby of the same age is saying Mama, and has apparently been saying Dada for a while.
Another friend with a baby of the same age has been saying Dada for a couple of months too.
As with C at this age, I am yet to hear a consonant from B, yet alone a recognisable word in context.
Like C, there is no babble, no chatter in his cot in the mornings.
No ba ba ba, ya ya ya.
I hadn't really thought about it until today.
He is 10 months old next week.

 C and B at approx. 10 months old                                          

Zoobs Vegetable Snacks - A Review

When we were asked to review Zoobs I was slightly apprehensive that there might be very little to say.  I mean a crisp is a crisp right?  Well, that is not entirely the case.

Zoobs are not made from potatoes or corn, but from other vegetables.  In fact vegetables, including peas, beans, chick peas, onion, tomato and carrot, make up over 50% of the ingredients and this makes Zoobs a clever way of getting vegetables into veggie-phobic children.

7 Easily Forgotten Holiday Essentials for Babies and Toddlers

This is our 3rd or 4th self catering holiday since we became parents and although I like to think I am getting more organised, there are things (often the same things) that I nearly always forget. Some of them are because I am genuinely surprised the cottage doesn't supply them and others because they are things I forget we even use!

After this time around, I have decided to write myself a list so I can refer back to it when packing for our next holiday.

Here is my top 7 things (i couldn't think of 10) most easily forgotten when packing for a self catering holiday with a baby and/or toddler: