36 Weeks Pregnant - Uncharted Territory

This week I am 36 weeks pregnant.  This is an especially important milestone for me as C arrived at 35 weeks and 5 days gestation.  I have never made it to 36 weeks before.  Although extemely relieved to be here (preterm labour is no fun), it did make last week a bit of an anticlimax as I couldn't help but wonder if this baby was going to make a similarly early appearance!

I am definately bigger this time around but do not have the same hip problems I had when pregnant with C. Aside from the increasing tiredness and generally imobility, I am feeling pretty good.  Labour does not feel imminent... but then it didn't with C.  I was enjoying a perfectly normal afternoon until my waters broke.

33 Weeks Pregnant - PCOS, Pregnancy and Diet Part II

When I was pregnant with C I was advised that because of my PCOS I was at increased risk of getting Gestational Diabetes (GD).  I therefore was very conscious of what I ate throughout that pregnancy and did extensive research and experimentation into what food combinations I could and could not eat.  I summarised my findings in a blog post at the time.

31 Weeks Pregnant - 4D Scan

Today I am 31 weeks pregnant.  The countdown is really on now as only 9 weeks to go to until my due date.

Hubby and I went for a 4D scan yesterday.  We had a similar scan at 32 weeks with C.
As well as obviously checking all was well with baby, I wanted to check he was still a "he" and I also check his growth as I really feel HUGE this time around.  I know women are often bigger in subsiquent pregnancies compared to their first but I really am quite a lot bigger!

Depression, Anxiety and the Power of Writing

This post was sparked by a tweet earlier in the week by the PSS Postnatal Depression Project on how talking about your feelings can really help you understand the origins of your post natal depression or anxiety.  From my own personal viewpoint, I agree with this statement wholeheartedly.  In my darkest hours since C was born I could have quite easily have gone to the Doctors and been put on medication however I knew that it was being able to talk to someone that really made me feel better, and that things would only really improve if I was able to get to the root of the problem and fix it.

Swimming with Mummy - A Trip to the Stour Centre, Ashford

I have been meaning to take C swimming for a while now, but something or other has always got in the way.  My In Laws successful swimming trip with her while she stayed with them at the beginning of the month, finally spurred me into action.

C isn’t new to swimming.  I enrolled her in a baby swimming course at 8 weeks old and persevered for 6 months until finally admitting defeat.  She absolutely hated everything about it.  The water, the acoustics, the activities, all of it.  She would pretty much cry from the moment you put her in the water until the moment you took her out.  Since giving up on the classes, I have taken her for a few ad hoc trips to our local health club pool but never to the local leisure centre.

25 weeks pregnant

Today (left) and 25 weeks pregnant with C (right)

20 Weeks Pregnant

This week I am 20 weeks pregnant and today was my Anomaly Scan.
My appointment was at 4pm, the latest I have ever had scan, which meant a long wait beforehand.

I suspected by this time there would be a long delay to be seen however it was actually only about 20 minutes.  We made the wise decision to leave C with my parents as a fractious, hungry toddler would not make for a pleasant experience.
We were ushered into the room and informed that there would be two sonographers carrying out the scan, one trainee, one trainer.  This was fine with us and the trainee began the scan.

A Very Late Early Birth Story

Watching someone give birth on television last night made me realise that I never actually blogged C's birth story. Although 15 months ago, I feel writing it down now might help me focus what to put in my birth plan this pregnancy.

I am sure many of you saw my tweets during labour last year and therefore are familiar with how the situation unravelled however hopefully this will piece it all together and fill in any blanks.

16 Weeks Pregnant

This week I am 16 weeks pregnant.  I always consider this a bit of mini milestone being half way between the 12 and 20 weeks scans, and, if you believe the week by week pregnancy guides, this week baby puts on a growth spurt meaning you actually start to look and feel properly pregnant (if you didn’t already).  Also, in my case it is the week I am beginning to feel the first flutterings of movement.  A very reassuring feeling!

13 Weeks Pregnant

Last Thursday was my 12 Week NT Scan.

I was very good that morning and didn’t check baby's heartbeat with the Doppler. I had nothing to gain from doing so.  The scan was going to happen regardless and the result would be what it was.

The scan was at lunchtime and luckily the morning passed quite quickly.

We entered the hospital and checked in at the X Ray department to be directed to the correct ultrasound room.  We were directed to Foetal Medicine, the main department of the hospital where all things pre-labour are done.  We sat down at in the waiting room. It felt very strange to be back here. Last time I was sat there was 24^th February 2012. I was waiting to be examined after my waters had unexpectedly broken at 35 weeks pregnant. What I did not know at the time was that less than 24 hours later I would be holding my little preterm baby in my arms. It was very surreal to be back.

Unlike the last visit, we did not have to wait long to be seen.  We were ushered into the ultrasound room and I made myself comfy on the table.  The sonographer put the wand to my stomach and there on the screen was baby bopping around.

Everything looked good and after a bit of wiggling on my part, the sonographer managed to get an NT length of 1.6mm.  She concluded that I was measuring not 12 weeks 4 days as per my normal cycle length, but 13 weeks 4 days! If I am honest I think the reality is probably somewhere in the middle.  I do not think it is possible for me to be a whole week ahead as I am pretty sure I know when I ovulated, give or take a couple of days.   Of course it doesn’t really matter.  This baby will arrive when he or she is ready. It just makes it more complicated when people ask how far along you are.  For the time being I have decided to go somewhere in the middle and say I was 13 weeks exactly on scan day.  This would give me an estimated due date of 27^th/28^th November.

We then went round to have my NT bloods taken.  Being lunchtime I expected it to be packed and have a long wait, however I was astonished to see the waiting area almost empty and when we took a ticket from the machine we were the next ones to be seen.  I must have been in and out within 5 minutes which is unheard of!

In the car, I could tell that hubby was unnerved by the change in my pregnancy dates.  As I have previously mentioned, he was convinced this baby was going to be another girl based on a variety of factors, including dates.  If my dates were wrong it would mean the odds of being a girl were considerably less.  I am not sure why the thought of having a boy terrifies him so much.  Maybe he feels there will be more responsibility on him with regards to his upbringing.  I really don't think this is the case as the majority of little girls I know are "daddy's girls" and the boys "mummy's boys".  In any case, what we be will be and we will find out at my 20 week scan in the middle of July.

How to Cope with Pregnancy and a Toddler?

I am now 11 weeks pregnant with my second child and C is 14 months old.  Today has been a tough day.  Partially self-inflicted I feel, as I made the mistake of going to my usual baby friendly fitness class on a Tuesday morning which exhausted me before the day even started.  

Things started to go wrong after C woke from her lunchtime nap. Having used her nap to eat my lunch and grab a shower, in an ideal world I was about ready for a siesta, while C of course was refreshed and raring to go.  She is currently going through the rather testing toddler phase of wanting everything repeated. I find this hard work when I’m at my best so this afternoon it was more than I could deal with.  First of all she wanted to sit on the sofa, then she wanted to be on the floor, then she wanted to be back on the sofa again. Obviously each time required me to lift her on and off. After the third or fourth time I distracted her by offering to read a book.  She then wanted it read again, and again. After the second time I refused which of course resulted in a full on meltdown. Argh!!!!!!!!!! And so things went on for the rest of the afternoon. I was so short tempered with her. Too exhausted to play and engage.

I felt so guilty about today that I just hugged C at bedtime and cried. I am being a bad Mummy. She is just being a typical toddler. Maybe tomorrow will be better…. Something tells me it probably won’t though.

I knew having another baby would be tough, both before and after he/she arrived but I just told myself thousands of women are currently going through the same thing and are coping and millions of women have done it before me.   Hubby is currently away 3-4 days a week and I am just constantly exhausted at the moment.  If he was here he would have given me a 10 minute break to compose myself by taking C into the garden to see the chickens or upstairs so she could bounce around on the bed.  But he's not. It's just C and I, muddling our way through the world. Me and my precious little girl who I feel I am failing.

It has to be a Girl

DH is convinced this new baby will be a girl. He has numerous theories for this:

1. We only BDd once that cycle, about 3 days before ovulation.  There are various theories that "girl" sperm can survive longer than "boy" sperm, while "boy" sperm can swim faster. The Shettles Method suggests if you BD just before ovulation you are more likely to have a boy as this sperm gets to the egg faster, while if you only BD a few days before ovulation, only the "girl" sperm has survived to fertilise the egg.
2. C is a girl and as his sperm has a low count and low morphology, he thinks the only good ones must be "girls".
3. Some men and more likely to have girls, others boys. The fact he has fathered one girl statistically increase the odds of him fathering another.
4. He is used to C and can't imagine having a boy :-)

Is he talking sense or in cloud cuckoo land?.... watch this space... 

9 week pregnant

I am now 9 weeks pregnant. 12 weeks is really not far off now.  That hasn't stopped me panicking though.  I had a few days last week where my symptoms all but disappeared, and generally I have been feeling much more human. I was desperate for another scan for reassurance but felt I couldn't justify the cost of yet another private scan.  I had a look on Google and to my surprise found a local company offering a special offer on pregnancy scans for only £50. I didn't need any more persuading and I booked the appointment.  It was going to be a busy Tuesday: Midwife appointment in the morning and scan in the afternoon.

Midwife visit
I was pretty certain I knew what to expect from this initial visit. After all, it wasn't that long ago that I was at this stage of my pregnancy with C. It was pretty much going to be a form filling exercise so they could get my details and medical history on the system, as well as booking me in for my 12 week scan and blood tests.
I was wrong!!!
Yes there was plenty of form filling and the obvious chat about C who had no choice but to tag along with Mummy, but they wanted to take blood! Luckily I do not have a problem with needles, however if I did, then this would have come as an unwelcome shock.  Apparently they have moved some of the 12 week blood tests to 9 weeks as they are shown to be more informative at this earlier stage. C looked quite concerned that Mummy was having needles stuck in her arm!

Scan
The scan was made more complicated by the fact that DH was working away therefore I had to take C along on my own. We entered the room armed with her favourite stacking beakers and a toy train she had "borrowed" from the toy box in the waiting room and I crossed my fingers and hoped for the best.
It didn't start well as I got a ticking off from the sonographer as my bladder was not full enough. As many of you know there is a delicate balance between having a full bladder and being so desperate for a pee you can hardly walk into the room. On this occasion I got it wrong!  Also, apparently my uterus was tilting backwards which made it doubly difficult to get a good look at what was going on inside.  We swapped to an internal scan which gave us a much clearer picture. 

One baby shaped baby, measuring bang on his/her dates of 9 weeks 2 days and one lovely heartbeat. 

Phew!
My symptoms are obviously just lessening as the pregnancy progresses. I will therefore enjoy my nausea free days from now on rather than panicking about them!

6 Week Pregnant (again)

It was not really going to be a question of if I was going to book and early scan, but when...

Extensive research during my pregnancy with C told me that an embryos heart usually starts beating around the 5-6 week mark and if things look good at this point then the chances of miscarriage are significantly reduced.  Often a miscarriage at 8,9,10 actually showed the embryo stopped growing at 6 weeks.  I therefore needed this scan for reassurance. 

The day of the scan I would be 6 week and 4 days pregnant.  As the date came closer I was reassured by the fact I was feeling increasingly nauseus.

Soon after we arrived we were invited into the consultants office and I made myself comfortable on the table.  Surprisingly it was going to be an abdominal scan.... I had not expected that to clear enough at this early stage.  The scan showed that me uterus was currently tilting backwards and although the gestational sac was clear to see, it was not possible to see what, if anything, was going on inside.  We therefore swapped to an internal scan that I had been anticipating origninally.  This showed the yolk sac and as he moved the wand around I could then see the embryo, my baby!  I watched the screen closely, searching for the heartbeat.... and there it was, a rhythmic flickering on the screen. I exhaled a bit in relief.  The consultant then turned on the speakers. It's been over a year since i've heard a baby's heartbeat but there was no mistaking that wonderful sound. I beamed at my husband and he smiled back.

The baby measured bang on target for 6 weeks 4 days and everything looked great!  I knew the next 6 weeks waiting until the 12 week scan would still feel like an eternity however for now I was content.

TTC Baby Number 2

This month was the first month DH and I started actively trying for baby number two. When i say "trying", i mean actually thinking about what date i would ovulate. We had not been using any protection since C was born as the odds of getting pregnant will our fertility issues were so slim.

I bought myself some cheap ovulation and pregnancy tests from the interent and prepared myself for the long haul. After all, the gynacologist had said that the combination of my PCOS and DH's fertility issues meant we had a 1 in 1000 chance of conceiving naturally. To date we had defied the odds and conceived twice. The first, in September 2010, ended in a chemical pregnancy at only 4 weeks, the 2nd, in July 2011, of course resulted in the birth of C in February 2012. We were therefore aware that conceiving naturally a 3rd time might be one miracle too far.

For the past 2 months my cycle had been 36 days long which would put ovulation around day 21.
Unfortunately DH went down with a cold the day i got my positive OPK therefore we only managed to BD once a couple of days earlier. I was therefore prepared to write this cycle off.

At 10dpo i decided i might as well take a pregancy test as i had plenty of internet cheapies. There were no instructions but after no line appeared after a minute or so, i came to the conclusion it was negative. I tested again at 14dpo to confirm. Again, negative.

15dpo came and went and still no AF. This surprised me as i knew i had ovulated. 16dpo, 17dpo, nothing. At 18dpo i decided to test again. Instantly a 2nd pink line appeared, and not that faint either! I was sceptical. Why hadn't this shown at 14dpo. We had only BDd once so i knew the dates wouldn't have added up for late ovulation. Either the test was lying and i wasn't pregnant, the test wasn't good enough to show at 14dpo, or this was a result of late implantation.

I bought a Clearblue test to check again properly the next morning. There it was in black and white. Pregnant! 2-3. Wow! I waved it in front of DH.
"Impressive!", he said.
It was! How we managed to conceive in our first month of trying and only BDing once, i will never know. We had been here before though and knew things could literally change overnight. I decided i would test again a week later with another Clearblue test to check that the estimated weeks since ovulation had increased to 3+.

I tested at 24dpo. Crossing everything that this wasn't going to be another chemical pregnancy. Pregnant 3+. Phew! Then... OMG! This is really happening! Very mixed feeling began to wash over me. Obviously i was HAPPY to be pregnant, RELIEVED the latest test was still showing good numbers and AMAZED we had managed it at all. However i was also SCARED. Scared of going through another stressful pregnancy while also juggling a young toddler, and most important scared of having 2 children under 2! Assuming this pregnancy progresses sucessfully, C will be 21 months when the new baby arrives. 3 months before her 2nd birthday. This terrifies me! C has never been an easy baby. I still consider it a good day if i have been allowed enough spare time to brush my hair in a day. How on earth am i supposed to have time to look after another baby???
I keep reminding myself that plenty of women have done it before me, and how wonderful it will be for C to have a sibling so close in age, a real playmate. Their is no denying it though... It will be tough!

Currently i am feeling more confident about this pregnancy than i was at this stage will C. I know that my body is (almost) capable of carrying a baby to term (C arrived 5 weeks early), and my PCOS seems reasonably under control as i only stopped breastfeeding a few weeks ago. The progression therefore lies more with this being a viable embryo than with my own hormones.

My next step is to make my initial apointment with the midwife. Then it really will start to feel real!