Tuesday, 4 March 2014

A Life On Hold

Today DH asked me when I would be able to leave baby B for a full day.
I thought about it and concluded that he wouldn't be down to 2 feeds a day (morning and evening) until he was almost a year old and therefore I could not leave him "9 til 5" until then.
DH looked disappointed.
On pushing him for his reasons for asking, he stated that our work were having a meeting and social event in April that he knew I'd be keen to join.

Our work colleagues are spread across Europe and we do not get to see many of them very often.
He queried whether I would consider expressing milk and leaving baby B with a bottle.
I have never expressed with either of my children.
It has always seemed like too much like hard work.
I have no idea if he would even take a bottle.  Part of me is scared to try.
I guess I like to be needed.  I like that he can only feed from me.
I would also love to go to this social event and I can't help but feel slightly frustrated that I won't be able to go.
I did query about taking baby B with me but it's not really very professional.
Motherhood is full of incompatibilities.

In my heart of hearts I know I need to get my priorities right.
Baby B (probably my last baby) will only ever need me like this for this 1 year.
This time is precious.
Never will another human being depend on me like Baby B does now.
Work social events come and go.  There will be others....

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