Wednesday, 4 June 2014

Not a Good Day

Today is not turning out to be a good day.
The culmination of a week of no sleep due to baby B still being really congested from his cold last week is taking its toll.
I am exhausted.
I have no energy for parenting.
I am being a rubbish mummy.

C seems to be entering a period of change.
The toddler classes she used to love, she is now finding boring.
We started a new class today that I hoped would capture her imagination but I am not sure it has.
I am at a loss to know what to do with her.
If you ask her what she wants to do, she says she wants to stay indoors and watch Thomas the Tank Engine on the television.
I do not want to be one of those Mummies that sits their child in front of the television all day but it is so easy to give in to her demands.
I should do more to try and engage her at home but at the moment I just do not have the energy for activities.
Hubby thinks I should put her into Nursury more days so I can have more of a break.
But I don't want a break from her!
She is a bright, engaging, funny child and I want to be able to tap into that again.
I want to be able to enjoy spending time with her and at the moment I am not.
I used to love our toddler classes as they allowed us to engage in activities together without needing the time for preparation.
She seems we have outgrown them though.
What does she need now?

Things with baby B are no better.
He turned 6 months old yesterday.
I told myself at 6 months I would start weaning him off his dummy.
Initially I just used it to help him settle of to sleep however the closer we got to 6 months, the more I found I was using it.... just to get some peace and quiet.
I crave peace and quiet!!!
He is desperate to be on the move.  Now whenever I sit him up he immediately twists himself on to his front, but then screams in fustration that he cannot go anywhere.
It is a constant battle. 
I end up putting him in his Jumperoo (which he loves) just to give us both some relief!

I just don't understand.
I spent my whole life wanting nothing more than to be a Mummy, yet now I am here I do not seem to be able to cope with it!

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